Thursday, August 9, 2012

More attempts at monologue jokes

A "kiss in" may be staged at a chick-fil-a which would be great for civil liberties, but an awkward excuse for an anniversary dinner.

A Republican National Convention rep called Harry Reid a dirty liar. It got weird though when his wife was like, "yeah, and I bet the tax stuff wasn't true either.

Morrissey criticized London for displaying jingoism, which is aggressive imperialist ethnocentrism, or in middle America: subtlety.

Lady Gaga was photographed in her pool naked! Well, except for her human suit.

Despite his harsh initial criticism of Mitt Romney, Santorum now wants to speak at the RNC. Which makes sense because speak is the trick after roll over.

Ted Nugent said some weird and mean things about President Obama. He also said "wang a dang dang poontang" so we know he's a credible source.

The Twilight director urged fans to respect Kristen Stewart, just not enough to break the illusion of the film's anti-feminist undertones.

Rumors report that Lindsay Lohan may star in the upcoming Scary Movie. It's just a normal movie, but with Lindsay Lohan.

A third party company is releasing a program very similar to siri, entitled Nuance, as in, this robotic uprising is very nuanced.

A new study reports that violent media keeps kids awake. So, if your kid is terminally ill, turn on the news.

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