long story joke with no real ending

I went home to see my family because if you don’t experience pain, I think you can’t appreciate what love feels like. My mom asked if I was dating anyone and I was like “well if by dating you mean trying to guess their ages, then no. Age doesn’t matter; it’s size that counts.” I haven’t had a boyfriend in two years because I like being happy. My brother David said “She doesn’t date men, she just has f-u-c-k buddies.” And that’s when we found out that my eighty year old grandma can spell. She started crying and wailing, “I’ll never have grandchildren.” And I was like “technically, it’s me that will never have your grandchildren if you were having your own grandchildren that means you were impregnated by your son.” And my mom was like, “what about david?” and she was like “I don’t want my grandchildren to be redheads!” because my brother has read hair. I’m like “what’s the likelihood of that happening when his girlfriend is asian?” and she said, “Barbara that’s offensive, I’m colorblind,” Then why do you care about redheads?